Before I gave birth to Fauna I often thought about all the topics I was soon be able to talk in my blog. I was looking forward to experience so many things and give my personal view about it. To share motherhood in my raw style. There are plenty of things to analyze and/or criticize. For example, the common phenomenon of people who tell you how to take care about your baby. Or, when your baby is crying, the unavoidable feeling of guiltiness that invades you, even if you know that everything is alright. Or how to breastfeed in public giving a shit about the thousand of eyes that surround you. Or how beautiful is life when your baby sleeps and how horrible can be the minutes before, especially when the little one is too tired.
I still want to do so, to write long speeches about my personal motherhood experiences. But to be honest, I don't find time to sit in front on the computer. When I do find the quietness I don't feel like spending it on front of a screen. I live the moment more than ever, and the rest of the time I am tired.
Sometimes, when Fauna is in a good mood, I think about sitting on front of the computer with her on my lap. But then I realize that this is not the way I want to be a mother. When I am with her and she is awake and relaxed I want to use this moments to connect. I know that this is what matters in the end. I guess it's obvious, but sometimes in the daily routine one can forget about focus in the important things.
As a mother you spend the whole day with this baby. You have to feed it, you have to hold it. You have to shake it when it wants to sleep. It's so much effort that when the baby is relaxed and open to the world you suddenly are tired and distracted. You are unmotivated to interact with the little one, face to face, smile to smile.
In conclusion, I find the time to connect with Fauna but I don't find so much time to connect with my personal hobbies such as my blog, or well... having sex with my husband.
There is a hobby that still fit with my lifestyle. I got a really nice camera and I made photos all the time. I hope that you as a reader enjoy my blog with lots of visuals and few words. I think that is going to be that way for the next months.
The last two weeks I was even more busy living the life (and forgetting internet) because I received visitors. First my life-long-best-friend Maria was around here for one week. The same day she left, my oldest brother Felix arrived for another. They slept in my couch so it was all about being together. And I loved it. I miss them already. We had a great time even if the daily plan was just to walk around the neighborhood (and not so far). It's also really nice to have a second pair of hands for whatever activity.
A home, its decoration, has to be made slowly. There is no soul in a house that is perfectly filled up with furniture all at once. The authenticity is made piece by piece. Along the time one collects objects, realizing what fits here or there, making it personal. This means that the decoration of a house is never completely finished and one can never say: now it is perfect. So, I still have to do this and that to be totally satisfied with the look of our home. I still have visions to make realities. But I am already feeling cozy here and I want to share with you some bits and pieces.
Sometimes there is nothing to be said. Sometimes it's all about to realize what you have, to enjoy it. We all have the responsibility to be aware of our luck and to share our satisfaction. In my opinion, that's the whole thing about being alive.
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