Twelve months and eight days ago Fauna came out of my womb. The birth. The first days. The first months of life. I barely remember them. Her presence and existence is so tangible in the now that those days seem far away. It's unbelievable what a human learns and transforms in its first year of life. Unbelievable how all those states of mind simply and progressively appear: desire to laugh and have fun, need for tenderness, casual pleasure, dissatisfaction and frustration, trance while disconnected from the surroundings... All the ways little children have to communicate without verbal language. Signs that we, adults, relearn to understand. They are so pure while they have no verbal language. Their minds are empty of letters and words but yet full of impressions, experiences and thoughts. This age where Fauna is right now feels delicious to me. I love it. The deep intimacy that we share (I enjoy breastfeeding now more than ever before). The gestures of love. Her honesty and openness. Her expressions and preferences. Her character. Fauna with her face. Fauna her forms and her movements. The total calmness she has while sleeping, empty of tension.
Fauna has dark blonde hair and dark grey eyes. She is tinny but healthy in her weight and length. She is active but quiet, cautious but brave, very aware of her surroundings. She is careful when trying out and has control over her motion. She is independent. She is very curious about objects, lights, and the space around. She sleeps very good through the night and in her morning nap. She eats very good too. She wants to try anything if Manfred and I are eating it. And most of the times she likes it. She plays with the boundaries and prohibition in such genuine way, very measured and unnoticeable, that I find myself having no desire to interrupt her. She is learning to point to things and she smiles while doing it. She is slowly getting to use the spoon in a proper way when eating, but her hands are still her best tool. She is also standing up and eventually walking few steps. Perhaps it is because I am her mother but I find her morphology and movements very elegant.
Manfred and I don't press her intelectual development at all. We like to observe how she grows all by her own will (like walking or talking). We definitely enjoy this "primitive" phase of her. We get a blue when we realized that this time is quite ephemeral. She will be a grown up in a eyes blink.